In Honour of Migraines

Migraine accuracy scale: (good amount of suffering, under-eye circles, bonus points for vomming)
Not Tonight Honey I Have a Migraine - Original ACEO Drawing
US$5 from WorldOfMoments at Etsy.

Migraine accuracy scale: (roaring grizzly clawing around inside brain, perfect 5)
Migraine Bear
US$11 from cobcreations at Etsy.

Migraine accuracy scale: (could have more pain analogies, but good representation of audio-visual cacophony and aura)
Migraine Bird Toy
US$12 from zeeksbeak at Etsy.

Migraine accuracy scale: (too serene, and no long-legged bird has ever sucked our brain pain away in a rainbow)
Migraine painting
US$45 from loadedhipspress at Etsy.

Migraine accuracy scale: (perfect as a post-brain burn haze, but the eyes are too clear for an actual migraine, though the splatters are convincing and we can relate)
Migraine Girl Abstract Art 8x10 Print
US$12 from SquiggleArt at Etsy.

Victorian Vampire Charm Pendant Necklace

For a Victorian vampire, all it took to get an expression of such utter gleeful joy was a sip of your schweet, schweet blood. For us, it would take a 50% off sale at Sephora with free international shipping.

US$7.50 from CreativeRampage at Etsy.

I Kick Ass for the Lord Shirt

The seller writes:

You don't need to be a karate loving priest to bring down the wrath of god. Wear this shirt anytime you find yourself amongst evil and let it be known you can throw down a little "divine intervention" of your own.

This design was inspired by a very famous line from Peter Jackson's 1992 gore-a-rama "Dead Alive" / "Braindead".

We just wanted to post it for the second pic, really.

US$18.50 from JuncoPartner at Etsy.

Hank Sculpture

The seller writes:

hank is seriously considering investing in a new razor.

Perhaps, perhaps.

US$20 from dancesippydance at Etsy.

Headless Cat - Crochet Stuffed Animal

Why bother spending time crocheting ear tufts and attaching whiskers when you could just do a neat little flow of blood. Best given to children you want to turn into successful psychopaths.

US$22 from VoodooBunnyCreations at Etsy.

Anne Boleyn Zombie Doll

The seller ponders:

Meet Anne...poor dear! She just doesn't know where her mind has been lately!

What a treat for your doll collection.

US$35 from mrsevils at Etsy.

Bloody Psycho Knife and Bloody Meat Cleaver Earrings

We ourselves may be eagerly awaiting a parcel with a Karen Walker Axe Pendant in it, but our attention right now is on these blood-smeared earrings. Choice of meat cleaver or handy kitchen knife.

Bloody Meat Cleaver Earrings and Bloody Psycho Knife Earrings, US$6 each from strangexchange at Etsy.

Bloody Sheets - Twin Size

Put these sheets on the marital bed to indicate that your Festival Of The Blood is near, and your partner will placate your every icecreamy wish until they're off the bed. We can almost guarantee it.

US$32 from horrordecor at Etsy.

On The Rag Painting (nsfl)

Another masterpiece to adorn your walls, NSFLunch style.

US$30 from mothchaos at Etsy.

The Belly Button Witch

Ice-haired and beveined, The Belly Button Witch is coming to an abdomen near you to nom on delicious umbilical remnants.

US$58 from cappysue at Etsy.

Dont Put Anything In Your Vagina That You Wouldnt Put In Your Mouth Artwork (nsfw)

Not so much NSFWork as NSFLunch. We assume that no innocent tampons were harmed in the making of this poignant artwork.

US$120 from kateblack at Etsy.

Damn Good Shark and Crimson Tide Skirts

Sometimes, when two amazing items compete for a special place in our hearts, we just cannot choose which to post. Here are two such pearls of perfection, one featuring a smug dandy shark and the other alluding to a deity's loveliest gift to women, the Festival of the Blood.

Damn Good Shark Skirt, US$46 and Crimson Tide Skirt, US$16 — both from aorta at Etsy.

Hanging Doll Ornaments

The festive panicking season is around the corner, and what better way to prepare for it than to purchase handmade baubles for the tree? Adorn your fir with ornaments that allude to your homicidal side, the kids will love them.

US$10 from plasticdollhouse at Etsy.

Leakproof Gush Set of 4 Cloth Menstrual Pads

'Gush' when used in a sentence pertaining to men-stroo-ay-shun is plain gross. In fact the only way I could shudder more at the title is if it also contained the words 'panty' and 'moist'. Gack.

US$22.99 from VulvaLoveLovely at Etsy.