Crochet Gem Ring

This comes to us via our friend Nicky, who writes:

"Is it just me and my disgusting mind, or does this look like, an, *ahem* used feminine-hygiene-product-on-a-ring?"

We now know what to collectively get her for her next birthday.

US$135 from grocgroc at Etsy.

Playtex Notebook

Like your notebook with a slim design, absorbent and of regular consistency? Then this one's for you.

US$6 from ivylanedesigns at Etsy.

Menstruation Celebration Slide Earrings (nsfw)

O how I wish I could be one of those women who embrace the Festival of the Blood and cherish every clot that pours forth from my snatch. Alas, these slide earrings won't be making it on to my Wishlist.

US$7.50 from EveTalksBack at Etsy.

PMS Meter Pin

While we like this pin, we do wonder if it's more fun to let your victims discover your mood for themselves.

US$198 from oneeyedcollie at Etsy.

Pad About Slippers - Your Choice Of Design

If you got a crap gift for Christmas, give this to the tightarse for their birthday. They'll appreciate your economy. The seller explains:

Made from maxi pads - design of your choice shown with heart and snowman.
...
These slippers are:

• Soft and Hygienic
• Non-slip grip strips on the soles
• Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
• No more bending over to mop up spills
• Disposable and biodegradable
• Environmentally safe

US$2.50 from GrannysClassics at Etsy.

Bloody Sheets - Twin Size

Put these sheets on the marital bed to indicate that your Festival Of The Blood is near, and your partner will placate your every icecreamy wish until they're off the bed. We can almost guarantee it.

US$32 from horrordecor at Etsy.

Zombie Uterus - The Prick Cushion

The seller asks:

Have you ever felt like your uterus was undead, trying to fight its nasty little way out of you?

Fuck yes, we answer. Our ovaries often crave brains, too.

US$25 from abitabite at Etsy.

On The Rag Painting (nsfl)

Another masterpiece to adorn your walls, NSFLunch style.

US$30 from mothchaos at Etsy.

Dont Put Anything In Your Vagina That You Wouldnt Put In Your Mouth Artwork (nsfw)

Not so much NSFWork as NSFLunch. We assume that no innocent tampons were harmed in the making of this poignant artwork.

US$120 from kateblack at Etsy.

Slightly Used - In Great Condition

Every Christmas tree should be adorned with used tampon ornaments. If not real ones, knitted will do.

US$8 from GoreDecor at Etsy.

Damn Good Shark and Crimson Tide Skirts

Sometimes, when two amazing items compete for a special place in our hearts, we just cannot choose which to post. Here are two such pearls of perfection, one featuring a smug dandy shark and the other alluding to a deity's loveliest gift to women, the Festival of the Blood.

Damn Good Shark Skirt, US$46 and Crimson Tide Skirt, US$16 — both from aorta at Etsy.

USB Flash Drives

How can we decide between delicious-looking brains or a freshly used tampon? Either of these portable storage devices will be a most delightful addition to your computer paraphernalia.

1GB THINKSTICK flash memory brain
US$50 from Doodlemonkie at Etsy.

USB-Flash drive, 1GB storage, USB 2.0, RED, handfelted (with merino wool)
US$32 from quackhandmade at Etsy.

Delicious Uterus Finds from Viv

The achingly stylish Viv of Ish & Chi has gathered some uterus-themed treats for us.

Uteri in the sky earrings
US$12 from tangerined at Etsy.

Happy uterus
US$25 from primavera777 at Etsy.

Pink Uterus Undies
US$11 from harveyandeileen at Etsy.