Silver Boob Ring and Winged Intercourse Pendant (nsfw)

We love interesting silver jewellery. This boobular ring and intercoursely winged peen pendant would look splendid with a suitable outfit.

Silver Breast Ring and Vagina Penis Act US$25 each from SexyMarsVenus at Etsy.

Peen Apparel - A Wardrobe for the Well-Dressed Peen (nsfw)

From the legend that brought us these cute felt peens comes a fashion collection to rival Galliano and Dior. Our favourite is the tough-guy studded collar.

US$10 from LittleGreenPeen at Etsy.

The Mighty Hermaphrodite (nsfw)

Shiny, pointy cone peen erupting from a stylised vadge hand puppet, perfect gift for Mother's Day.

US$25 from goodmarvin at Etsy.

Purple Peen (nsfw)

You could say that we're fans of peen here at OOF HQ.

This one is pretty damn cute, although I'm somewhat disturbed that the seller needs to offer the following advice: Don't be sticking this stuffie anywhere a stuffie shouldn't be stuck, okay? ;)

US$10 from LittleGreenPeen at Etsy.

ManHandle Pot Holders (nsfw)

Best peen-related idea ever. Colour coordinate with matching boob bowls for extra win.

ManHandle Pot Holder in Tan and in Red, US$6.50 each from ayarnnut at Etsy.

Dick In A Box (nsfw)

We love anything that references the Dick In A Box skit, especially when it's made by the legend that brought us Revenge Soap.

US$12 from Soapyho at Etsy.

Finger Puppets - Four Play Set (nsfw)

The seller of this neat little set writes:

This crocheted set comes with 2 innies (vagina and anus) and 2 outies (penis and tongue).
...
Penises, Vaginas and Anuses are available in four colours-- peach, tan, brown or dark brown. Tongues are available in light or dark pink.

US$20 from shannongerard at Etsy.

Sexpot, sexpot, you're my sexpot (nsfw)

Hand-thrown stoneware, with bonus pun. Perfect for storing jewellery and trinkets.

US$65 from oldmillpottery at Etsy.

Wood Genital Pull Toy (nsfw)

Cart your very own peen toy around the office when it's a bit quiet. Wheeee.

US$10 from Lunaverse at Etsy.

Pickle In My Pocket - A Painted Poem

This is playing in our mind as a Bryan Adams/Barbra Streisand duet.

US$12.95 from pinky27889 at Etsy.

Rude Pearl Earrings (nsfw)

Neat little peens with polished pearly testicular saclets on each side. Aww.

US$18 from BrassMonkeyDesigns at Etsy.

Rudolph's Revenge (nsfw)

This is the card we are sending out to our loved ones next year.

US$2.50 from nancyfarmer at Etsy.

Goooooood Morning Cross Stitch Pattern (nsfw)

If you were looking for a cross stitch pattern that is at full mast even before you begin stitching, this is it.

US$7 from CrotchStitch at Etsy.

You see swirly glass, we see PEEEEEEEEN!

How could one not? As the seller says "no 2 are exactly the same!" :P

US4 from JarvisGift at Etsy.

Happy holidays from OOF! (naturally nsfw)

Have you been norty or noice?

US2.50 from thepricklyforest at Etsy.

Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly? (nsfw)

For the wench, Viv, who apparently can't get enough penii on our blog. Happy Festivus. Wanna see our urchins?

US$13 from thepricklyforest at Etsy.

For the man with nothing to hide (nsfw)

Condometric is the first prophylactic that measures and shows off the penis’ length.

So is your man hung like a horse or a bee?

US$TBC from Curiosite.com.

Classical Penis In The Clouds Painting (nsfw)

The seller describes this masterpiece as:

this is an acrylic/casein painting featuring a penis with angel wings and a halo soaring high above the clouds boasting confidence

We are confident that Rembrandt is cursing in his grave jealously, wishing he was the author of this piece.

US$20 from snew at Etsy.

Brian's Boner - Original Painting (nsfw)

We know all about paintings featuring vaginas and dressing up your pet, but this one takes the cake.

US$250 from Snitterdog at Etsy.

From Mimi: Etat Libre d'Orange Magnificent Secretions (nsfw)

Our beautiful friend Mimi was visiting Mecca Cosmetica in a department store, saw this exquisitely packaged olfactory gem and had to MMS it to us immediately. We could not be more grateful.

AU$125 for 50ml from Mecca Cosmetica.