Nippleclogular Footwear (NSFW)

Your boss will never look down your top again, he'll be too busy checking out your perky new shoes. Through Lost At E Minor.

Vintage Bedpan Inbox and Urinal Vase Set

The description of this vintage wonder had us at oh hai:

AWWWWW! A Rose by any other name, would not be as sweet.
COLLECTIBLE...BIG TIME:
A Vintage Pediatric Toileting & Hospital Set. These are porcelain-coated metal.
A wear spot is seen on the base of the urinal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GREAT FUN USES:
Other than the obvious....
1\ MAIL-box and bud vase for any Medical Centre or Docs' or Health Care Managements' office
* I had used this set for my incoming mailbox on my desk; as much of the correspondence seemed rather Sh..ty anyway! haha. I used the urinal for my weekly treat to me; fresh flowers.
Everyone got a kick out of this: Sales Reps, other Mgmt, Staff, Visitors, etc, all aughed.
2\Gardeners use your imagination; as new pots/planters and vase in your yard, or garden. On a ledge etc.
3\Conversation pieces, I guarantee this do the trick!
4\Candle landscapes..in the bedpan, urinal laying in front or standing beside on guard.
4\ whatever makes you smile.....please let me know!
**** IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO SEE OR FIND THE HUMOR IN EVERYDAY LIFE, PERHAPS YOU ARE NOT LIVING? By BJMoore

Assert your place as the office freak funperson and install it on your desk today.

US$30.15 from BJMoore at Etsy.

Wireless Rabbit Massager For Blythe (nsfw)

The seller writes:

Is your Blythe a little frustrated? Here is the perfect little stress reliever.

First made popular to the masses by Sex and the City, now your Blythe or Pullip can have one, too: A wireless rabbit vibrator.

Bet your Barbies are jealous.

US$8 from TabooBlythe at Etsy.

Human Slinky Costume

People ask....what is it? What are we watching? Everywhere are completely astonished and baffled at the act... Veniamin's® his name...and he comes from Romania.

The amazing headless, green-crotched, open-armed human slinky costume can be yours for a measly $182,000, including rights to perform as a human slinky for a whole year before you retire as a rich bastard.

US$182,000 from veniaminshows on Ebay.

Fan Dancer

The description tells us more about this enchanting composition:

No no no no!
Not Sally Rand!
Dita Von Teese!

Right-o.

US$50 from Jtnee at Etsy.

Brian's Boner - Original Painting (nsfw)

We know all about paintings featuring vaginas and dressing up your pet, but this one takes the cake.

US$250 from Snitterdog at Etsy.

Beaded Hand

For lonely nights, a beaded hand to hold.

US$125 from bungeebeader at Etsy.

USB Pole Dancer

The description squeals:

This cute, flirtatious, bikini-clad blonde USB Pole Dancer brings a smile and some cheer to both the home and office with her cheeky dance routine! The best part of all is the faster you type, the faster she dances. And of course, you don't have to throw any money!

Every office needs one.

AU$29.95 from DealsDirect.com.au

Artist Belly Button Lint Brush

The seller of this item tells us in super-excited caps lock:

FOR THE ARTIST WHO HAS EVERYTHING.....BET THEY DON'T HAVE THIS....

Now that they will, they can use this not just to extract lint from their belly button, but also in their art. For no other brush is best suited to adding ethereal softness to a freshly painted muff.

US$1 from lisalatham at Etsy.

Still Under Construction

The seller of this architectural marvel tells us that the "plastic pearl beads represent milk". We are disappointed, we were guessing fireworks or at least Nerds. Perfect as a gift for mum, in case she forgets what mammaries are for.

US$150 from courtneyscastle at Etsy.

I Do Necklace

The seller tells us:

...this necklace rocks my world to the core...and well my sweatpants are hot and I know it..and yes I was sober when I made this piece....and HOTDAMN what a piece it is!!!!!

Pom Poms you would use to decorate the car when you get hitched baby!.....These Pom Poms are one of my fave things about getting married..that and the open bar...and well I guess committing to an amazing individual....but yes pompoms and lots of 'em all over..the hearts are wooden with some red enamel.

US$120 from Elizaveta at Etsy.

Baby Grrl Note Cards

"Vaginas aren't yet dirty at this stage"

Well thank fuck for that, we wouldn't want notecards with prints of a female whose vagina is already dirty from age! Phew.

US$14 from metaleyelash at Etsy.