Shag Carpet Slippers

The seller's brilliant description, worth every cent:

Do you miss the 70s? Me neither. But doesn’t walking on shag carpeting feel really great? These handmade slippers are made from two pieces of high quality, left-over shag carpeting with strips of leather to hold everything together. They keep your toes plenty warm plus it feels like walking on a big bushy sheep dog!!! These pictured are our personal pair. For sizing your own, take a pair of your sandals or shoes and trace one on a piece of paper, scan it, and email it to me. Hurry before shag comes back in style and we can’t afford it anymore!

US$15 from tigerfite at Etsy.

Beret and Scarf Bag

The seller writes:

Beret&Scarf Bag is a surrealistic, playful bag made by hand. It is one-the-kind - there is no other bag like this brown one!

This we're sure of.

US$55 from celapiu at Etsy.

Pad About Slippers - Your Choice Of Design

If you got a crap gift for Christmas, give this to the tightarse for their birthday. They'll appreciate your economy. The seller explains:

Made from maxi pads - design of your choice shown with heart and snowman.
...
These slippers are:

• Soft and Hygienic
• Non-slip grip strips on the soles
• Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
• No more bending over to mop up spills
• Disposable and biodegradable
• Environmentally safe

US$2.50 from GrannysClassics at Etsy.

Vintage Vagisil Ad & Your Parents Like Doing It Barrettes

Vintage magazines + decoupage = chic hair accessories for all.

Sex and Your Parents Like Doing It Barrette and Vintage Vagisil Ad Unique Handmade Barrette, US$1 each from TipsyLu at Etsy.

Reborn Rubbish - Arbor Angel

The seller writes:

Reborn Rubbish pins and magnets are playful little guys happy to have been rescued from garbage cans & landfills. Reborn Rubbish dolls are similar, but too big to wear. They can, however, hang out in your house, demonstrating your exquisite taste as well as your concern for the environment.

Spare a landfill, hang it in your house instead.

US$10 from siragwatkins at Etsy.

The Bra Bag

Don't kick yourself that you didn't think of it first, just make sure you don't chuck out your old bras next time, they are evening bags waiting to happen.

US$22 from MissKnits at Etsy.

Blue Burlesque Bullet Bra

Shake them funbags in this groovy bullet bra, you will fulfill the desires of creepy uncles all around the globe.

US$45 from crescentwench at Etsy.

Douche Pendant (nsfw)

Made from a 1921 advertisement, this pendant will be a guaranteed hit at the family festive table.

US$12 from sushipot at Etsy.

Pop/Soda Can Hat Featuring Coke

The seller of this millinery masterpiece assures us that we "could order this hat in the beer or soda/pop of your choice." We'd like Powerthirst, thanks.

US$22 from popplerhatsnstuff at Etsy.

Lime Green Bow Skull Hair Clip Pair

Move over plastic skeleton hands, here we have real skulls of real minks. The seller says they're really cute, and:

Some teeth are missing but each bone and skull will have its own unique character. No two will EVER look alike.

US$35 from Osseous at Etsy.

Fork Pin

Just imagine the multi-layered puns that will rain on you the moment you pin this baby to your lapel.

US$3 from BlackDoorStudio at Etsy.

Cleo and Helen Pendants

You have probably met these charming siblings already, the time when you had a cheese plate with a glass of wine before bed and had dreams of doll faces with sparkling eyes, set in resin and sprinkled with glitter. Some may say they were nightmares but we know they weren't, not until Cleo started nibbling on someone's eyeball and you woke up, slightly damp.

US$9 for Helen and US$20 for Cleo from gjarvisjewelryetc at Etsy.

Distressed and Muted Bohemian

You know you fail at life when your bag calls itself a distressed bohemian and wears more accessories than you do.

US$40 from sehwhat at Etsy.

Victorian Gothic Human Tooth Pendant

The difference between an artist and a normal person is that you didn't save your fallen molars, did you. You didn't see their decorative potential, not even when the dentist got those big tongs out and said 'this might sting a bit'.

US$90 from lovedtodeath at Etsy.

Raccoon Claw Earrings

Adorn your ears with real raccoon claws. Others may have faux claws but you can have The Real Thing. If you feel crafty, the seller also has packs of claws so you can make matching necklace and nose picker.

US$4.95 from tandscreations at Etsy.

Nicky's Favourite: Crazy Chip Bag Headpiece

This luminescent headpiece was sent to us by a dear reader, Nicky. We think it will look rather fetch on her blonde locks, especially when matched with a dainty Pringles container instead of a clutch. Recycle chic.

US$22 from BoringSidney at Etsy.

Brassiere Bag - Le Rouge et le Noir

"This original bag celebrates the incredible engineering of the modern brassiere" and what a celebration it is! We like that this bag can be used as a decoy to escape bar sleazes - just pop it on a stool and off you go. He'll be too drawn to the bra to notice the lack of head.

US$25 from LucysLocket at Etsy.