Valentine's Day Card Suggestions

Valentine's Day is sneaking up. Perhaps give a card to one of the smug fuckers who will be parading back and forth with their rose and teddy bear combos.

Douche Bag Card US$2.25, I'd Pull Your Plug Card US$2.50, Chauvinist Pig Card US$2 from Jailbird at Etsy.

Douche Pendant (nsfw)

Made from a 1921 advertisement, this pendant will be a guaranteed hit at the family festive table.

US$12 from sushipot at Etsy.

Vagina Tightening Rejuvenation Douche Powder

Vadge feeling loose? Been told that your punani needs re-sleeving? Forget about expensive, not to mention painful, vaginoplasty. Get some of this into (up?) you.

Michelle Duggar swears by the stuff*.

US$5 from TheOtherSide at Etsy.

*Possibly not true.