Cthulhu Kitty Art Doll

Cthulhu, with kitty ears. One of a kind art doll. Reserved for a lucky buyer, but if you're desperate for one then contact the seller and beg and plead for your very own.

US$150 from limeinmoloko at Etsy.

Pad About Slippers - Your Choice Of Design

If you got a crap gift for Christmas, give this to the tightarse for their birthday. They'll appreciate your economy. The seller explains:

Made from maxi pads - design of your choice shown with heart and snowman.
...
These slippers are:

• Soft and Hygienic
• Non-slip grip strips on the soles
• Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
• No more bending over to mop up spills
• Disposable and biodegradable
• Environmentally safe

US$2.50 from GrannysClassics at Etsy.

Commission a Zombie Animal

Decorate your work cubicle in style with a specially commissioned zombie animal painting. We'd ask for a replica of the dolphin above, its determination is most admirable and would inspire us to work harder and achieve our goals, brain eating or otherwise.

US$500 from joehavasy at Etsy.

Customised Vagina Pasties (nsfw)

Look at these pretty little pussies! These are specifically for a burly girl with a sense of humor. Your nipples are too naughty to show in public? Well why not throw a simulated-vag in their face?

Including:

-Two pretty pussy pasties made from polymer clay in any skin tone you want. These can range from dark as night to hot pink to pale just like mine shown above.
-A pretty little "crystal" colored swarovski crystal clit for just the right amount of shimmer in all the right places.

Extras include a different clitoris, fur and lace. Nom.

Moose Poop-les

The seller writes:

Made from authentic Wyoming moose scat, these figurines are always a big hit, not just for scatologists. Moose' poop'les make great personalized gifts that can highlight your recipient's job, hobby or lifestyle.

US$25+ from casualcarver at Etsy.

Your Vulva Portrait

The seller's description:

Celebrate your own beauty, and smile at the fact that when friends come over and compliment the painting they are complimenting your Vagina. After purchasing send me a convo describing your Vagina: the shape of your inner and outer, colors, how much or how little your inner labia extend out from your outer labia, how well hidden your clitoris is, is it heavily hooded or can you see it fairly easily? Send 4-5 pictures, all at similar but different angles, along with the description. Then describe your Vagina in one word.

US$42.99 from VulvaLoveLovely at Etsy.