Sushi Slippers

Invite your hot date up for a glass of wine and slip into something more comfortable.

US$28 from sushibooties at Etsy.

Shag Carpet Slippers

The seller's brilliant description, worth every cent:

Do you miss the 70s? Me neither. But doesn’t walking on shag carpeting feel really great? These handmade slippers are made from two pieces of high quality, left-over shag carpeting with strips of leather to hold everything together. They keep your toes plenty warm plus it feels like walking on a big bushy sheep dog!!! These pictured are our personal pair. For sizing your own, take a pair of your sandals or shoes and trace one on a piece of paper, scan it, and email it to me. Hurry before shag comes back in style and we can’t afford it anymore!

US$15 from tigerfite at Etsy.

Bloody Monster Mary Jane Shoes

These blood-thirsty babies are an Etsy classic. Everyone should own a pair, if only for making the postman shit his pants when delivering your next Etsy parcel.

US$22 from emandsprout at Etsy.

Pad About Slippers - Your Choice Of Design

If you got a crap gift for Christmas, give this to the tightarse for their birthday. They'll appreciate your economy. The seller explains:

Made from maxi pads - design of your choice shown with heart and snowman.
...
These slippers are:

• Soft and Hygienic
• Non-slip grip strips on the soles
• Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
• No more bending over to mop up spills
• Disposable and biodegradable
• Environmentally safe

US$2.50 from GrannysClassics at Etsy.

Crocheted Boob Blankie and Matching Boob Slippers (nsfw)

"Do you know someone that would just love to sleep under a blanket of boobs? Then this is for them. The holidays are not that far away and this would make someone's Christmas or birthday extra special."

We think this seller has carved a solid niche in boobular homewares, and we applaud it.

Crocheted Boobie Blankie US$95 and Boobie Slippers US$18 from KinkyCrochet at Etsy.

Camel toe slippers

Banish toe cleavage and replicate some wedged beaver-age with these woolly slippers.

US$32 from zerkahloostrah at Etsy.