Rusty Roger Beardaclava

The seller writes:

Remember that time in grade 9 when you tried to grow a beard, and proudly sported a few sparse hairs?

Maybe you're still in that situation, maybe you can't have a beard at work, maybe your girlfriend thinks real beards smell like cheese or maybe you just want a cozy man-hat for those chilly days! Whichever it is, this hat is for you!

Comes with one mustache (shown in photos) but can be
interchanged with others from the collection. Snaps on the hat and mustaches make it a quick and easy way to nab that stylish 'stache you've always wanted.

We respect that.

US$79 from Freight at Etsy.

Baby Grrl Note Cards

"Vaginas aren't yet dirty at this stage"

Well thank fuck for that, we wouldn't want notecards with prints of a female whose vagina is already dirty from age! Phew.

US$14 from metaleyelash at Etsy.

Stuffed and Mounted Pisky

The seller narrates in an Edgar Allan Poe voice:

Something was wrong in my garden, the tomatoes nibbled, the shed oddly tidy and the fish look worried. so i set some miniature bear traps (no home should be without) and waited.

to my surprise this is the creature i caught. tho i must say i think his surprise at being caught was greater than mine at seeing him!

Hang this delight on your chamber door, for consistency.

US$60 from tinyminds at Etsy.

FIBER BEAD Big Hole - Orange

Ever wondered what ginges do with their pubes hair? Neither did we, but now we all know.

US$9 from Ebrown2503 at Etsy.

Fire Bum

We love us some ginge. Which is why we think this wee critter could be a firecrotch rather than fire bum as the seller named him. But we love him either way.

US$15 from dreadpiratefluffy at Etsy.

Hai to our friend Ginge

Bonny Red the Pirate - a pirate and a ginge at once. Win.
US$23 from Pinxit at Etsy.

Devil Squid - made of evil and cute.
US$35 from slugwork at Etsy.

Pirate Silver White Nipple Tassels - every self-respecting pirate needs a pair.
US$22 from CheesecakeBurlesque at Etsy.