Wheye?

Feeling weird now that your creepy colleague is on annual leave and there is noone watching you? Slip one of these babies on your finger and it will be like they never left.

US$26 from kimsjewels at Etsy.

Cecil the Cook Shrunken Head

Perfect as a decoration for your office cubicle, especially if you already threaten to scalp people when they make eating noises.

US$33 from relicdwellers at Etsy.

Modern White Baby Head Vase / Planter

Message the seller for a replication of this wonderful planter, since this baby has just sold.

From mudpuppy at Etsy.

Crazy Legs - Its Alive Vase

Looking for a wedding gift for that quirky couple who doesn't want a 4th toaster? How about a meticulously handmade vase on legs, which will march around the house at night and dance tango when they're not looking.

US$180 from joeconardcreations at Etsy.

Piggy Artwork

The seller's description of this poignant piece:

The severed head of a hog hangs suspended in empty darkness, the tiny dark eyes peering out from the folds of pigskin attached to painted board. Lost and beautiful it's face speaks silently from it's seeping and desperate hell. Four and one half feet tall, by three feet wide.

US$500 from cutthroatleather at Etsy.

Adorable maggot

Creepy, cute and cuddly! Comes with a haiku:

You want to vomit,
And yet you want to hug me.
Very Confusing!

US$40 from PterodactylPants at Etsy.

Inviernessa Skadi Winter Goddess

...makes a very thoughtful baby shower gift, and those eyes could be a very powerful focusing tool during childbirth.

If someone wanted us to look at this winter goddess while squeezing out a crotchmuffin, we'd probably invent a medieval style curse especially for them. But that's just us.

US$10.95 from LovelockCrafts at Etsy.

Beaded Hand

For lonely nights, a beaded hand to hold.

US$125 from bungeebeader at Etsy.

Miss Fanny (slightly nsfw)

Meet Miss Fanny, she says she forgot her undies. Go on, indulge the inner pervert, believe her.

US$4 from craftychris at Etsy.

Cemetery Dirt from the Grave of Bela Lugosi - Hollywood Dracula

So you were outbid on a fang that belonged to a pet of the real Dracula's housekeeper. Soothe your sniped soul by treating yourself to some dirt from a grave of an actor who played Dracula. It's not as close as that fang but will have to do.

US$35 from aldetha at Etsy.

Creepy baby soap

Do you really want to wash your unmentionables with a baby's head?

US$3 from MollycoddleSoap at Etsy.

Doll Roast and Doll Sprouts

Nothing like a home-cooked meal to warm the cockles of one's stone cold heart. No plate licking or slurping please, we may be cold and dead on the inside but we still get murderous from bad table manners. Especially when dinner is as delectable as this.

US$20 for the salad and US$12 for the roast from sixhours at Etsy.

Cleo and Helen Pendants

You have probably met these charming siblings already, the time when you had a cheese plate with a glass of wine before bed and had dreams of doll faces with sparkling eyes, set in resin and sprinkled with glitter. Some may say they were nightmares but we know they weren't, not until Cleo started nibbling on someone's eyeball and you woke up, slightly damp.

US$9 for Helen and US$20 for Cleo from gjarvisjewelryetc at Etsy.

Dead Ant Pendant

Since the Paris shows declared dead insect jewellery to be the epitome of klarse, we cannot go past this pendant. A lovingly preserved ant is displayed in a glass vial against a fern leaf backdrop. Some of us would prefer a tarantula or a praying mantis but sometimes an ant is just the thing.

$US25 from silentcheesecake at Etsy.

Exoskeleton Earrings

Bits of dead beetles have never looked so chic, not even the vintage specimens found behind the couch. Did we mention these earrings "produce a gentle fluttering sound when moved or shaken"? Just to remind you what you're wearing next to your face. Nom nom.

US$30 from exoskeletoncabaret at Etsy.

Nedra The Darling Little Demon

The seller narrates in a movie promoter voice:

Her newly sprouted horns are still delicate bone, and clearly caused some inflammation of the surrounding skin.
...
Her little round mouth is parted to reveal the glimpse of her teeny vampire fangs...still wet with demon baby spittle.

The painted black nails are a chic touch, very now.

US$95 from GothicCradle at Etsy.

Alien Foetus/Parasite

If anything makes me want to convert to vegetarianism, it's this delightful interpretation of, well, an alien foetus/parasite.

US$90 from Doodlemonkie at Etsy.

Creepy Grandpa

The description of this creation is somewhat disturbing:

Nevermind Grandpa's rancid breath, gurgling colostomy bag and funky arm pit odor (we hope)...Just climb on up paw paw's lap so he can whisper a few of his dirty lil decadent secrets he needs to git off his chest before he bites the dust.....could change your life...sweet lil pussy on lap included!!!

US$25 from Hellray77 at Etsy. If you dare.

Custom Creepy Eye Bottlecap Pincushion

This pin cushion has had the honour of making our nerves of steel shift a whisker, brewing childhood nightmares and creepy craftiness into one eyeball of handmade.

US$12 from verybigjen at Etsy.