Nippleclogular Footwear (NSFW)

Your boss will never look down your top again, he'll be too busy checking out your perky new shoes. Through Lost At E Minor.

Sushi Slippers

Invite your hot date up for a glass of wine and slip into something more comfortable.

US$28 from sushibooties at Etsy.

Shag Carpet Slippers

The seller's brilliant description, worth every cent:

Do you miss the 70s? Me neither. But doesn’t walking on shag carpeting feel really great? These handmade slippers are made from two pieces of high quality, left-over shag carpeting with strips of leather to hold everything together. They keep your toes plenty warm plus it feels like walking on a big bushy sheep dog!!! These pictured are our personal pair. For sizing your own, take a pair of your sandals or shoes and trace one on a piece of paper, scan it, and email it to me. Hurry before shag comes back in style and we can’t afford it anymore!

US$15 from tigerfite at Etsy.

Bloody Monster Mary Jane Shoes

These blood-thirsty babies are an Etsy classic. Everyone should own a pair, if only for making the postman shit his pants when delivering your next Etsy parcel.

US$22 from emandsprout at Etsy.