Marriage Congratulations Card

Know any poor souls friends who are planning to join their souls in matrimony? Give them a card that tells it like it is, in a pretty way.

US$2.95 from notmoira at Etsy.

Camouflage Deer Hunter Garter Set

Unleash your inner Palin and killernate the wedding party with this wedding garter set. Camouflage, deer running for its life... all that's missing is a mini rifle charm, really.

US$24.99 from GartersByKristi at Etsy.

From Mia: Smells Like Roses Soap

Our beautiful friend Mia found this delicious soap, which smells of yesterday's takeaway roses.
My Poop Does Not Stink Soap, US$4 from LoveLeeSoaps at Etsy.

Mia got engaged recently, and we are ecstatic for her. We can only hope that this is the ring that her beloved proposed with.

Small Poop Ring, US$15 from poopshop at Etsy.

Crystal tasselled pasties (nsfw)

Why spend all that time and money searching for that perfect wedding dress? Just pop on a g-banger, some elbow-length gloves, a veil and a pair of these tasty nip covers and Robert's your father's brother. Pearl necklace (nudge nudge, wink wink) optional.

US$27 from trulyfallen at Etsy.

Builders Bum Ornament - His & Hers

For a unique engagement gift for dear friends, look no further than these matching builders' cracks. Tastefully accessorised with a screwdriver and g-banger, your gift will be a stylish addition to any home and treasured for many years to come.

Builder's Bum and Female Builder's Bum, starting at GBP 2.50 each from caution-wideload on Ebay.

I Do Necklace

The seller tells us:

...this necklace rocks my world to the core...and well my sweatpants are hot and I know it..and yes I was sober when I made this piece....and HOTDAMN what a piece it is!!!!!

Pom Poms you would use to decorate the car when you get hitched baby!.....These Pom Poms are one of my fave things about getting married..that and the open bar...and well I guess committing to an amazing individual....but yes pompoms and lots of 'em all over..the hearts are wooden with some red enamel.

US$120 from Elizaveta at Etsy.

Embroidered Toilet Paper Gifts

Our treasured derrieres must be treated to only the finest of monogrammed luxuries. This embroidered toilet paper gift suffices. Just.

US$5 from TwoCrazyCrafters at Etsy.

Alternatively, treat your newlywed friends to thoughtful, personalised gifts they will never forget.

US$4.50 from FlatOutFun at Etsy.

Penis Groom and Vagina Bride Anatomy Cake Topper

Tasteful and unique, this wedding cake topper is the perfect addition to your special day. The bed is cushioned and has little pillows, so rest assured that these representations of your anatomy will lounge on your cake in complete comfort.

US$25 from GreatEscapes at Etsy.

Bride and Groom Skeleton Grave Yard Wedding Cake Topper

Be the envy of your wedding forum friends with a unique handmade cake topper. The ubiquitous choice of n levels of cake crowned with fondant doves and porcelain bride and groom figurines fades like an old curtain in comparison to this charmer.

US$75 from jotaysgel at Etsy.