Marriage Congratulations Card

Know any poor souls friends who are planning to join their souls in matrimony? Give them a card that tells it like it is, in a pretty way.

US$2.95 from notmoira at Etsy.

'I Sharted' Card

Just add "in your bag" and give to your favourite colleague at a leaving function.

US$2.75 from notmoira at Etsy.

Women Statement Button - Show Your Class

The above is true. Full stop.

US$4 from LadyFaire at Etsy.

Farting Filters Undies

"Imagine transforming the essence of digested chili into the fragrance of a pine forest on a crisp autumn morning. Bratwurst and beer becomes memories of Mom's famous pancake breakfast with the scent of maple syrup.

The revolutionary Farting Filter can accomplish this in one quick easy step. A strategically placed pocket is affixed to a pair of boxers or briefs. One small scented filter is placed into the pocket and when the back draft occurs out comes the scent of chocolate, bubblegum, pine or syrup." Now when you claim your farts are "fresh" they really will be! Genius.

US$10.95 from MilkysWay at Etsy.

Penis Gel Candle Monkey Fart Scented

The seller assures us that the candle will burn for 40 hours. We are so grateful, it means 40 hours of the delicious-sounding Monkey Fart fragrance. We'd be sad to see the little peen melt though.

US$6 from jotaysgel at Etsy.

Fart Dog

Fart Dog Blows a Hole in the Ozone may not win any major art prizes, nor be considered for inclusion in the hallowed spaces within the Louvre, however it's charm is undeniable.

US$12 from peat at Etsy.