Little Joseph, Holy Shit and Woofer Speakers

Three delicious contemporary design finds to tickle your morning. We're not sure if our current favourite is the paedophile's delight or the headless dog set.

Little Joseph US$99, Woofer Speaker System US$1,259 and Holy Sh*t US$39 from Generate.

Reusable Cloth Toilet Paper Set of 12 Maroon Wipes

These reusable toilet wipes should come printed with images of baby birds pleading with the wiper to save the forests. We're not sure if baby harp seals everywhere will agree with the water usage from washing these wipes, or if baby sharks will approve of the colour, but it's over to your eco-conscience now.

US$10 from allnaturalme at Etsy.

Embroidered Toilet Paper Gifts

Our treasured derrieres must be treated to only the finest of monogrammed luxuries. This embroidered toilet paper gift suffices. Just.

US$5 from TwoCrazyCrafters at Etsy.

Alternatively, treat your newlywed friends to thoughtful, personalised gifts they will never forget.

US$4.50 from FlatOutFun at Etsy.

Toilet Paper Earrings

Our old favourites. If only these earrings could magically transform into real toilet paper when you're stuck in a public bathroom post-pee with an empty roll holder.

US$30 from LiciaBeads at Etsy.

Can toilet paper and poo be cute?

Not in this case.

US$8 from Lellabean at Etsy.