I Kick Ass for the Lord Shirt

The seller writes:

You don't need to be a karate loving priest to bring down the wrath of god. Wear this shirt anytime you find yourself amongst evil and let it be known you can throw down a little "divine intervention" of your own.

This design was inspired by a very famous line from Peter Jackson's 1992 gore-a-rama "Dead Alive" / "Braindead".

We just wanted to post it for the second pic, really.

US$18.50 from JuncoPartner at Etsy.

Dirty Old Ladies Club Patch

We think this patch on your designer denim could help with skipping register queues at sales. Then again we also think the lady looks a little like David Gest.

US$4.85 from CLUTTEREDmind at Etsy.

Small Dirty Pussy (nsfw but not what you think)

This is what happens when we search Etsy for cushions. Innocent, grandma-friendly, make-our-messy-den-look-less-cavely cushions. Sigh.

US$90 from thenaughtybee at Etsy.

'I Sharted' Card

Just add "in your bag" and give to your favourite colleague at a leaving function.

US$2.75 from notmoira at Etsy.