Muff Diver Magnet

Mariah Carey really meant Muff Diver, not Heart Breaker, and that's the way we're currently singing it.

US$3.50 from MelanieKors at Etsy.

Big Boobies Magnets (nsfw)

Every fridge is secretly dying for some areolae. Indulge yours today and it might just stop pissing on your kitchen floor.

US$4 from Buttonhead at Etsy.

Comedy Nun Beam Me Up Perspex Fridge Magnet

Perfect little magnet to beam up those who are having a Fuck Off Friday.

US$4 from TJSpanky at Etsy.

Piss Off Or I Might Propel You Off A Cliff Magnets

Piss Off Magnet (2.25 Inches) US$2.50 and Propel Magnet (1.25 inches) US$1.65, both from allegrae at Etsy.

Birdy Magnets

No 90s hip hop song can adequately express the extent of our love for these birdy magnets. We went through many.

Corn Chip, Eyes and Disembowel rectangle magnets, US$4.25 each from mincingmockingbird at Etsy.

My First Husband

We love items that have a story behind them. The seller states:

Resin filled bottle cap magnet. Super-strong magnet on the back. My first husband was an idiot, who happened to keep iguanas.

US$2.50 from bornlippy at Etsy.

God Can't Help You Now

The seller's description (we may just be in love):

People of certain persuasions think that someday they will see the angel of death.

Uh - folks? The angel of death is already here. It's called owls. They're badder than junk yard dogs, meaner than old King Kong - hell, they're worse than Leroy Brown. An owl killed my grandmother for doing nothing more than having clashing patterns on her outdoor furniture. Owls are death incarnate. DO NOT CROSS AN OWL. If you do, and you think you're good because maybe you got God in your corner - you best be thinking of a backup. Like maybe another owl.

God help you. I mean, you're SCREWED.

US$4.25 from mincingmockingbird at Etsy.

Don't Forget Your Pants Magnet

Some of us were born without those cute lower back dimples. Things get sadder when even a fridge magnet bum has them and we don't. Sob.

US$8 from TheKnottyPine at Etsy.