What We Found By The Rivers Of Babylon

This post is dedicated to Babylon. Let's begin with the delicious manly specimen King Nebuchadnezzar, whose undisputed hot looks are immortalised on a green silk scarf. Admit it, you want to caress that lush unibrow until the silk is all thin and frail.
US$33 from bonspielcreation at Etsy.

Urban Dictionary, you're wrong about this one. Hanging Gardens Of Babylon actually refers to unkempt pubic hair. We may have to get off our arses and add the definition ourselves, sigh.
US$29.99 from GC67 at Etsy.

So you thought Babylon was all luscious gardens, but the giraffes tell a very different story. Don't know about you, but King Nebuchadnezzar's unibrow is looking less appealing to us upon hearing this. Shame on you, Your Majesty. You could have spared at least a re-gifted bonsai.
US$20 from Marcuskwame at Etsy.

Patriotic Hair Scrunchie

Do you have a child who is not bullied at school? Reverse that with ease by coercing their darling locks into this patriotic scrunchie. The seller puts our mind at ease on the all important skimpy scrunchie issue too:

Ample fabric is used in this new style, so this is not skimpy by no means.

Phew.

US$3.50 from Handmadecrafter at Etsy.

Yellow Zombie Eye Flower and Pink Lady Cameos On Skeleton Hands

Our friend Pinks found two delicious morsels of hair accessorising goodness. Now with more skeleton and less sugar, available in two extra creepy flavours - Yellow Zombie Eye Flower and Pink Lady Cameos On Skeleton Hands. Perfect gift for a sweet niece.

Yellow Zombie Eye Flower

US$8 from toxiqueboutique at Etsy.

Set of 2 Small Pink Lady Cameos On Skeleton Hands

US$7.50 from jammerdesignz at Etsy.

Naughty Man Parts Hair Clips

Hottest accessory straight from the couture shows in Paris. Wear both dainty flavours at once — Strong Man Probe and Sausage Bouquet.

US$7.50 from Culturerevolution at Etsy.

Merkin Hairy Panties

Absolutely divine panties (our favourite word). With the perfect faux muff, this undergarment will surprise, elate and astound. Don't take our word for it, buy a pair and salivate in private with your loved ones. Nom nom.

$US15 from MissKarina from Etsy.

Set of Four Pubism Pinback Buttons

This set of 4 masterpieces is just itching to decorate you. Our favourites are the pubic bunny and the hairy nutsack lightbulb, they are just so tactile and a perfect conversation starter on your lapel. A perfect Father's Day present.

US$4.50 for a set of 4 from rthies at Etsy.

Tiki Torture Hawaii Bow Clips

The description promises that these delightful 'tiki torture' hair clips are "ready for any event where you wanna look your best".

$US13 from nikkinightbreed at Etsy.