Holy crap!

Poo has never been so cute.

US$5 from paperfruithair at Etsy.

Bad Ass Motherfucker

I admit that I had NFI who this particular bad ass motherfucker was. Until I did as the seller suggested & Wiki'd him.

Wow. A piece of art & a history lesson!

US$20 from smayorga at Etsy.

Telescopic Back Scratcher and BBQ Branding Iron

For times when a victim loved one isn't nearby to scratch your back as you interchangeably bark directions and purr appreciatively.

Telescopic Back Scratcher
AU$9.60 from Tesora

Change the letters and brand your steak with your name, the description says. Just see if you can resist stamping it with your mother-in-law's chihuahua's name. Or 'Babe'.

BBQ Branding Iron
AU$19.95 from Tesora.