Sunday, June 14, 2009

How to prevent midnight snacking

We think we've found the perfect method to prevent midnight snacking. Decorate your kitchen with kitsch anthropomorphic vintage kitchen implements and their judging, soulless eyes will scare you out of the biscuit craving. Most of the time, anyway.

Uncle Ed, the slightly creepy old fucker, thinks you've already had a few biscuits too many, young lady.
US$5 from thebabykitties at Etsy.

The seller writes:
Mr. Corny is a 60s Miller Studios chalkware piece that once served as a notepad holder.
Now let him continue his journey in your kitchen as a wall-eyed midnight snack monitor.
US$ 10 from moonula at Etsy.

Angry shroom shaker duo is angry at your lapse of good judgment. What makes you think that Tim Tams at 2am are a great idea? And why can't the duo themselves have any? Such is life, etc etc.
US$18 from carmenandginger at Etsy.

Carmen the winking strawberry knows your vices. She's been there, knows that assignments suck major arse, knows that insomnia is a bitch, that sometimes all you want is to raid the fridge without a kitchen canister judging you. Carmen encourages your brave expedition to the kitchen, she wants you to go on and take that biscuit, girlfriend. Carl the onion agrees, this naughty pair will always be on your side in midnight pantry raids.
US$7 from foursquarevintage at Etsy.

Panicking pickles Stefano and Massimo aren't so encouraging, I'm afraid. What about the dress you just bought?! What if you spend the whole evening doing laps to the biscuit cupboard? What if you end PLUS SIZED, GOD FORBID?! You'd think this squealing pair is worried about your health and well-being but something tells us they're more worried about how you'd look in their designer kitchen.
US$20 from retrovertigo at Etsy.

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